I woke up at 5 am this morning and made coffee. As it percolated, I peered over to my bookshelf and grabbed an old cookbook that my mom wrote based on interviews of my grandmother (her mother-in-law). My grandmother spoke of her mother (who was born in the late 1800s) as a person who exuded kindness and generosity.
How did she do this?
First, she called everyone, "Love." She would say, "Love, could you move this table for me?" If someone came to her in need, she would respond by saying, "How can I help? Or even better than that she'd say, "Let me fix this for you." In truth how many of us (when we are hurting) know what we want? When we are hurting, we just want the hurt to go away. When my great-grandmother knew someone was hurting, she just evaluated the problem and did something to help fix it. People loved her for it. She lifted burdens.
Now upon reflection, I want the answer to the question:
How do I develop that sort of community in my classroom?
The answer: I can model what I expect from others.
a. Less distraction. Quit things that don't matter. (Like Social Media) In truth no one really appreciates social media posts. They can illicit feelings of competition, envy, and resentment. Also, you are giving your time away to other people who (for the most part) are not even thinking about you at all.)
b. Don't give way to envy. There are times when things don't work out. I had a goal I was working on all year, but in the end, I put my family first, so the goal didn't work out. In some ways, my personal ego was hurt, but I would not change my decision. As John Wooden would say, "Character before reputation. Character is who you really are- not what you are perceived to be." Therefore, if someone else wins that's okay. I will cheer that person on and continue with a positive attitude because that is who I choose to be in life.
c. Be a solution for others. As John Wesley would say, "Do all you can.. for everyone you can.. as long as you ever can." We were put on this planet to serve and not to be served. Our bodies should stay in motion in honor of God. To be a solution, a help, and to take burdens off others. We are to do this work with a heart of humility- not brag, put others down in the process, or be a martyr. No one likes people who complain about all their good works. (That is the worst.)
d. Celebrate others and make them feel special. This does not mean liking social media posts. I have found that this is one of the weakest ways to keep and maintain friendships. Just show up for people. Send a card on their birthday instead of a Facebook like or message. Call or text them. Start small-- maybe with two or three people and expand as you are able. Look for ways to help.
e. Don't complain all the time. Students love to complain. Teachers love to complain. Everyone complains these days. Although complaints need to be said from time to time- think before you speak. Think about how you are phrasing the complaint. My great-grandmother would always begin with, "Love... I wish you would.. Love, can you help me with..." Begin in a kind way can make a positive difference in others and that creates a call to action. Now, I will admit that this feels foreign and uncomfortable to me. However, I will try it for two weeks and see how it goes. (Meaning I don't usually start with - Love - or similar pet names - but I will try it!)
f. Know the dangers of a social media account. I have a classroom social media account, but I am thinking about dropping it for next year. Here is why: Students think that you have favorites. There are always those kids who love a picture, and those who don't. The problem lies in that students who don't like to have their pictures taken are still envious of you taking pics of all the same kids. Also, if you post a kid's work that you think is amazing- other kids feel bad. This to me is all just unnecessary classroom distraction. It's does more harm than good.
To sum it up, how can we create more community in our life and classroom:
1. Less computer time. (Find other ways to learn, review, and communicate)
2. Don't be jealous of others. (You will win some and lose some. Remember your purpose.)
3. Be a solution for others. (Find ways to help-- even if it's inconvenient.)
4. Celebrate others and make them feel special. (In person-- SOCIAL MEDIA DOES NOT COUNT.)
5. Find the joy. (Keep complaints to a minimum)
6. Skip Social Media. (Have a website or a blog. (But a Classroom Insta Account Can be Dangerous for a positive classroom environment.)
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